In the 19 years spent living in the London house we had the same neighbours on one side of us. Yet at the time of leaving we still didn't know the names of all five members of the family! Admittedly the parents were Turkish Cypriots who spoke very little English and were wholly resistant to immersing themselves in the English culture. In fact I would say we were among the last 10% of the street who spoke English as a first language. Coupled with the frenetic pace of life required to survive in the capital city, London can be quite a lonely place.

Out here in the Golden Valley nothing goes unnoticed. Perhaps so little happens here that everything is big news or perhaps it is because this area is one of the most security sensitive places in the country. It is under permanent satellite surveillance and 24-hour ground patrol. You see, our next-door-neighbours are none other than the world's most famous soldiers, the British army's 22 Regiment. They are probably better known to you as the S.A.S. Like any good neighbour they take a real interest in what you get up to. However, the Community Liaison Team from the Military Police will take an even greater interest in you if your face and vehicles are not on their records!

Our most immediate neighbours are either ovine or bovine (sheep or cows to you) and generally keep themselves to themselves. On one occasion the herd of cows in the field behind us did invite themselves to lunch in the garden. The gatecrashers helped themselves to the contents of the orchard and made numerous donations of Grade-A fertiliser by way of restitution before someone came to take them home.

Guardian of all our 4-legged neighbours is Farmer Andy whose family have worked the land around here for generations. Indeed Sunnymead was first purchased by a member of his family soon after it was built. He primarily rears beef cattle and his herd currently stands in excess of 150 head. We have become very close friends of local dignitaries "Lord & Lady Hughes of Elm Bridge". They recently agreed to perform the unveiling of the Sunnymead signpost, yet another official engagement in their hectic social diary. With so many civic duties to perform they are often seen in their ermine-trimmed robes dashing around the village in a pickup truck bearing their Coat of Arms complete with liveried footmen perched in the bed behind.

© TUF E. NUF Productions 2005